.Publisher's Note: The observing is the text of a character from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reviewing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't composed quite regarding specifics of this purpose in the course of the month I have actually been actually below, mostly for two main reasons: the very first being that there has actually been very little bit of opportunity to accomplish that type of creating, and secondly due to the fact that I'm not exactly sure how comfortable I am actually discussing thought and feelings I provide family and friends with the remainder of the world.Effectively, definitely the globe transformed today. What I say or do is actually quite slight contrasted to the importance of what took place to our country today when it was actually assaulted by ... through whom? Terrorists is all we know, I presume. Difficult to understand at whom to guide our rage as well as concern ...I had merely ended up a lot of activities today, one of the most lengthy being the physical examinations of all crew participants. In an exclusive talk complying with that, the trip cosmetic surgeon told me they were actually having an incredibly negative day on the ground. I had no suggestion ...He explained the scenario to me as greatest he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually flabbergasted, then horrified. My very first idea was actually that this had not been a genuine talk, that I was actually still paying attention to some of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just didn't seem possible on this incrustation in our nation. I could not also visualize the particulars, also before the news of more destruction started can be found in.Vladimir dropped in quite quickly, picking up that something really serious was being talked about. I swung Michael right into the module too. They were actually additionally impressed and stunned. After we authorized off, I tried to clarify to Vladimir and also Michael as finest I can the possible immensity of the show of terror in midtown Manhattan and at the Government. They precisely recognized as well as were really supportive.I browsed the Planet Map on the computer to find where over the world our team were and also noticed that our experts were actually happening southeast away from Canada as well as will be overlooking New England in a few minutes. I zoomed around the station till I located a window that will give me a view of NYC and also grabbed the local video camera. It happened to become a video camera, and I was looking south from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to possess an odd bloom to it at the base of the pillar that was streaming south of the area. After reading through one of the newspaper article our experts merely received, I think our experts were actually looking at NY around the moment of, or not long after, the failure of the second tower. Exactly how horrible ...I swung the cam all along the East Shore to the south to observe if I could see any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however absolutely nothing showed up.It was pretty difficult to deal with job after that, though we had some to accomplish, yet on the next orbit we crossed the US additional south. All three people were operating 1 or 2 video cameras to try to acquire sights of New York or Washington. There was haze over Washington, but no details resource could be found. Everything looked amazing coming from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can not envision the awful settings on the ground.Besides the emotional influence of our country being actually tackled as well as 1000s of our consumers as well as maybe some good friends being actually killed, one of the most overwhelming sensation being actually where I am is among solitude.Upcoming time ... I reckon the tiredness and also mental strain received the greatest of me. I could not keep awake as well as remain to create. Today was actually still complicated, however our team started getting additional relevant information, plus we had the respect of speaking straight with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our company that the ground crews would continue to function as well as guarantee our protection, as well as the risk-free function of the Place. Our company additionally spoke with our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the companions in the Program are actually all entirely devoted to carrying on risk-free operations and also help. These were actually never ever concerns for me. I know all these folks! The ground groups have been actually exceptionally helpful, very understanding of the influence of the information, and have actually made an effort to become as useful as possible. They have actually all been actually quite specialist and focused though I can't think of the diversion of this particular type of headlines coming in as well as the idea that authorities buildings could be at risk. They never ever avoided a beat, even when relocating control centers. As well as a group of elderly workers and close friends provided our company a fairly detailed instruction about what was actually understood and what was actually being performed in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually really helpful and also sort of them to carry out in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually supportive and also useful, trying to uplink newspaper article when our own properties were actually inoperable, as well as stating kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually fantastic, as well. They know it's been actually a difficult time for me and the individuals on the ground, as well as they've attempted to be as even keeled as well as helpful as possible. Michael also repaired me my beloved Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they provide me plenty of area to think when I required it. They are actually really compassionate and naturally shocked at whoever will perform this.I recognize plenty of folks in Washington, plenty of people who journey to DC and also NYC, numerous who are actually pilots, that I experienced certain I will receive at least a couple of items of problem over the upcoming handful of days. I got the initial one today when I found out that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that struck the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic throughout plebe summer when our experts were in the D&B together, and our experts possessed lots of courses together. I can't visualize what he should of looked at, as well as now I hear that he may have risen even further than our team can easily even think about by probably stopping his aircraft coming from being actually the one to tackle the White Home. What a horrible loss, but I ensure Chic was fighting fearlessly throughout. And splits do not circulate the exact same precede ...It is actually tough to describe just how it really feels to become the only American fully off the world at once like this. The feeling that I ought to exist along with each of you, taking care of this, assisting in some way, is difficult. I know that we perform the limit (or even beyond) of a terrible shift in the past history of the globe. Numerous traits will definitely certainly never be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the manies thousand and countless individuals directly impacted through these hideous process of violence, but possibly for all of us. We are going to discover ourselves feeling differently about lots of traits, consisting of most likely area exploration, however.It is actually dreadful to view smoke pouring coming from injuries in your own nation from such a great point of view. The dichotomy of getting on a spacecraft devoted to enhancing daily life on the planet and seeing lifestyle being actually ruined through such intentional, terrible process is actually jolting to the psyche, regardless of that you are actually. And the expertise that whatever will be actually various than when our experts introduced due to the opportunity we land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our country and also in our leadership that our company will certainly perform every thing achievable to far better guard her as well as our households, and also to carry justice for what has been done. I possess peace of mind that the excellent individuals at NASA will do every thing essential to proceed our purpose safely and securely and return our company safely at the right time. As well as I skip every one of you very much. I can not exist along with you in person, and our team have a long way to head to accomplish our purpose, but be specific that my heart is along with you, and know you reside in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last character ... Fortunately, it's been a busy week up listed here. As well as to verify that, like our nation, we are actually continuing on our intended path along with company customarily (as high as feasible). Tonight the most recent addition to the place, the Russian Docking Compartment will certainly be actually released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US time), it will dock with us, at a slot never made use of just before on the nadir side of the Service Module. This new component is going to offer our team yet another place to dock a Progress or Soyuz and are going to offer a large airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our team are going to carry out a few of before our team get home.The trouble just before in coping with today was insufficient information. The problem now is actually way too much. It arrived all at once when e-mail was rejuvenated, and also there's inadequate opportunity to review everything! Plus it is actually also hard to manage all of it instantly. Yet I value getting it, and I actually cherish the fantastic characters of assistance and also relationship I am obtaining.Our experts are actually doing well on board, receiving our job done, and also speaking about points. Final night our team had a long conversation over supper concerning the significance of these events, the feasible actions to comply with, and also what should be actually performed. After supper, Michael challenged telling me that every e-mail he got from close friends in Russia said specifically to tell me how sorry they were that this happened, prolonging their acknowledgements, and also asking exactly how I was actually doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are actually much very lengthy to verbalize quickly.) Extremely types people.For the last pair of days, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to broadcast online broadcasts of broadcast updates about the celebration as well as connected tales, to see to it I was properly informed. Every specialist who has actually come on free throw line to review a technique or a problem has at some point expanded hellos to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that due to the big day of recognition in the United States, all day folks had been actually carrying flowers and lining all the walls of the United States consular office in Moscow, as well as this night they were actually igniting candlesticks in the street outside the consulate. Just how the globe has actually altered.Individuals everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness and also terror within this assault. And also the incredible reduction. Moscow has taken care of these sort of troubles in the last few years with home as well as metro bombings, so they are as restless to remove this hazard as our company are actually. But the bottom line is actually that there are actually excellent folks just about everywhere that wish to stay in calmness. I read through that a child talked to, "The United States is so really good to various other countries, our company constantly assist every person, how can they hate us so much?".I wish the instance of teamwork and also trust fund that this spacecraft and all the people in the program demonstrate daily will at some point influence the rest of the planet to work the same way. They must!Sadly, our team won't be actually taking flight over the US while people are igniting candlesticks. Don't understand if our experts might observe that anyway. Our experts did, however, find an incredibly uncommon and beautiful attraction a handful of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. Our team were overtaking it and it appeared regarding 3 mins after its launch from Baikonur as the sunlight struck our station, so it was still in the dark. It resembled a large comet with a right, vast rear silhouetted against the dark earth beneath. Despite some poor lights for a while as the sun hit our window at a low angle, I managed some video clip of it as first we passed the spacecraft, and after that saw it start to catch up as it obtained altitude as well as rate. I shot till primary engine cutoff and also enhancer splitting up developed equally our company moved toward sunrise on the Mountain ranges. An extraordinary attraction in a remarkable full week ...Lifestyle happens, also precede. Our experts're listed here to stay ... Frank.